The New Year is often a time when people concentrate on getting a “new start”.
When the past year has brought a major change to your life, such as a divorce, the new year can be a chance to move on and create new memories for you and your family.
Ok, I know it’s not spring yet, but work with the analogy here.
In order to create these new memories you have to have room for them in your life and mind.
This means cleaning out, or letting go, of the old ones.
Just like cleaning out your closet, you need to discard the ones that no longer fit.
Now, I don’t mean you should forget everything about your prior life. Of course not.
You never want to forget the memory of the birth of your child or that great vacation you took.
And even the bad memories are lessons that need to be revisited sometimes.
What I mean is, you have to stop letting them live front and center in your mind. Not only do they keep you grounded in the past but you will find yourself comparing all of your “nows” with your “thens”.
These memories should be that sparkly dress in the back of your closet that you pull out for special occasions. They should not be those too tight jeans that stare at you from the front hanger every time you open the closet door.
You should keep the memories that make you smile or remind you how far you have come and get rid of the rest.
Stop Planning and Pay Attention
So now that you have made space, how do you start making those new memories?
A lot of newly single parents get so wrapped up on making the “perfect” holiday for their children that they end up frustrated and stressed. Which is no fun for anyone.
Memories are not about big events. They are not about whether the house is decorated or the presents are wrapped perfectly.
Memories are made minute by minute.
They are the moments of true understanding you receive when you still your mind and listen.
They are made of the beautiful clouds that day in the park, when you take the time to stop and see them.
They are made of hearing your kids laughing down the hall or making a mess in the kitchen baking up some gooey concoction.
Yes, you might go out and try some new experiences now that you are in a new phase of life. But even if you decide to go sky diving, your memories will probably be the feel of the wind in your face or the sensation of flying through the air.
Memories are made of feelings. If you can slow down your mind and learn to be present in the moment you will soon be making memories that will bring a smile to your face as well as your children’s for many years to come.